Basketball, failed attempts and more thoughts of Ballet Barre

Okay Okay, I know exactly what I was thinking. I thought that if I could just get back on track, getting in shape would just happen and Poof!!! Magically I would transform. LOL

Nope! Not even close. One Spartan workout done and that was that. I wanted to drive to San Diego at 5:30 AM on a Saturday with my 3 kiddos in tow and rock out another race workout and everything would just fall into place. So I stayed up late. Too late.

On purpose?

Maybe. I was trying to sabotage myself. I knew if I went to sleep early that would mean that I would have to wake up early and get myself and my three kids to the workout on time in SD. So I did the opposite. I stayed up waaaaaaaayyyyy too late.

And... it worked. I was too tired... Then I tried to blame my boys for not waking up. I woke up at 5:30 AM and then tried to wake them up, which I knew was going to take some effort but I gave up...and then I turned around at the first sign of difficulty and went back to bed.

I know and can honestly say I wanted to lose today...

SHAKE it off! Right??

I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail. I DON't WANT TO FAIL.

I actually mean that. I don't want to!

I want to succeed.

Okay, so what am I going to do about it? I am going to push on to another day and succeed. I signed up for a women's basketball league for Sundays. Will it be easy? UH.... Nope! Can I do it? Will I just try to sabotage myself this time? NO I WILL NOT.

BALLET BARRE? Yes. I want to break it out and I need to work harder to get back on track. Or back to the Barre. Onto another day, a basketball day. A ballet barre day? Some day really soon. I know it!

Signed, A Ballet Rookie xo

Opened an email and pop "Free Workout in Torrance - De Portola Park"

The thoughts swirl around in my head... I need to get healthy...I want to feel like myself again. I know that "I" need to make the changes that are best for me.

Then, I look in the mirror and I don't recognize my face or my body. I am a version of myself that I don't want to be. I eat too much, I exercise too little. I complain too much and I don't make the changes that I need to make. Life as an adult sucks sometimes. Being a mom is hard and being a wife takes a toll on me. I blame everyone and everything for my shortcomings. Not anymore! I am not unhealthy because of all of the people and things in my life. Not because of anything else but my mindset and my lack of respect for my health. The changes needs to start with me. I want to open and honest. I want to say that I am the one that needs to make a changes for the better.

Typing away on my keyboard on Wednesday morning when a ping on my iPhone pulled my attention away. I got a notification so I opened up my email. Free workout - sponsored by Spartan Races. I had always wanted to do a Spartan Race or Mud Runner or Color Run. I always talked about it and never made the move to actually do it. Why not? I had asked myself this question and then back to work.

"FREE" the operative word. Okay? I needed to pay attention to this... so how is this workout actually free? I read on a little further. "Torrance", Hmmmm, that's super close, as in - I am IN Torrance. Next thing I know I was registering myself and my 14 & 16 year old sons too. If I was going, I was not going alone. I sent them both a quick text and that was that.

Two days passed and it was Friday night already...and this "workout" was the very next morning.  I yelled out to the boys to have themselves ready in the morning by 7am, cause I wanted my free Spartan T-shirt. I didn't really feel ready but okay.

I lay in bed wondering how I could get myself out of this. I could just not wake up, I have a 5 oage research paper due in a few days and I haven't even started. NO! I needed to start the path to get my health back. I made up my mind that I needed to do this.

I woke up early and we made it to the park got in line and before I knew what was what we got our t-shirts and started the workout. My legs were like noodles and my abs were sore. We did it. I did it! I started again, never giving up.

I have already registered for the very next Workout to be held next weekend in San Diego. We will have to wake up early and get going by 5:30 am to get to the workout on time. Asked my boys if they want to go and they are in!!!

Today my muscles ache and my legs feel noodly and wobbly and my abs cringe with soreness every time I move. But I feel wonderful. The pain is a good pain, a workout pain. I can do this!!!!

Time to break out the ballet barre and get started with ballet once again too!

Signed, A Ballet Rookie xo